we need to drink 2009 down the drain
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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