ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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