she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
