Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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