just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize