We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Randomize
