Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
