mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
