so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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