kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
