Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
