To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
