Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
This beer is not sobering me up at all
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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