Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
