saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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