no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
