I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
