Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Randomize
