There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
