5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
