K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize