saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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