An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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