Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
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