I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
In America we eat man semen.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
