Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
