from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
