Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
