why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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