The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
my poor anus
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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