I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
