the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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