This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
