Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
