yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
