please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
