this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
please don't ironically join a cult
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