are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
