i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
