I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
