i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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