More tranny stories later!
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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