Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
