all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
