I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
