We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
