his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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