She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
not ubering you a puppy
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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