Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
