Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize