exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize