Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
