yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
farters have to be the big spoon...
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
