So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
