This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
