so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
