I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
