Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
This gyro tastes like lonliness
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
