Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize