I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Naked Twister starts at high noon
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
