HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
