Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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